On an Island

And the we ended up to the most remote island of the Gulf of Finland. Me and my Boss were like explores of the lost world of fishing communties. Island was almost empty but during summer months people are coming there by boat to spend their holidays. Once there was on that island hundreds of people living and dying there.




Once the island was full of people, full of fish, full of life. Where are they all now? Well, their accidental momentum on this planet is gone forever. They shall never come back...




We were talking about my coming trip to Asia. Boss adviced me to stay there at least till January when the darkness of Finnish winter starts to give the way to the light. I promised nothing.
- I´m gonna come back when I please. If I feel bored or homesick I shall jump to first plane. I have skipped Bali and Kuala Lumpur from my list. Maybe I fly from Thailand only to Georgetown on Penang island in Malaysia. They have good vibes over there, splendid mix of cultures... But let´s wait and see...




Then we found the old cemetery. They all were sleeping there. Many of the islanders had finished they life in the raging storms of Gulf of Finland. I think that they couldn´t hear us in their Big Sleep. Emptyness, darkness, not even that. Just nothing. Not even the memories of their childhood when they all thought that life would never come to an end...




We saw big ships on their way to Russia. We shaw a ship carrying the nuclear waste. We shaw everything and more. It was a good day to be alive on an island.

Funny Farm Dudes Trekking in Helsinki Countryside

Sailing Away

Preacherman came on the street and asked:
- What you´re going to do with your life, man? Been kind of wondering...
- I´m just taking it easy. I don´t have anyhing to lose or win, you see? You´ll better to concentrate your own miserable life with God, booze and lousy sideways of Helsinki town.



- I have heard that you are leaving again soon. They say in Trouser Hill Bar that you have the ticket to somewhere in that fucking Asia again. What´s the matter with your life? Is this town not big enough for you?
- Sometimes it is. But I just like to watch places. And I have the ticket for sure in the beginng of September and permission form the Boss to spend some time on the other side of the world.




- Well, it´s your choice. I shall never leave Trouser Hill area again during my life time. I have too many friends here, too many enemies. One day I´m gonna have my revenge for those who killed my kid brother by selling him too strong booze.
- It´s up to you, dude. But I´ll be back in January when the days are getting longer and darkness gives the way to the light in Trouser Hill area. But if my Boss wants me to come back earlier, I shall jump to first plane.



- Where are you heading this time, Clover?
- First I shall travel back to Chiang Mai in northern Thailand. My plan is also visit Laos and Malaysia. But let´s wait and see what happens. Maybe I´ll end up to Tokyo...
- You´re not going to see Pattaya girls?
- I´ve never been there. And if I go there some day you´ll see dead man walking.
- You must be out from your mind. Sailors form Trouser Hill travel to Pattaya and Brazil whenever they have enough money. You know those litte sexy things over there...
- I know them too well. It´s not what I am looking for at this age.
- Let me laugh... What are you looking for then?
- Peaceful easy feeling, I guess. I just want to sit in some quiet place and watch the world go by.
- Sounds kind of boring to me...



- You just don´t understand anything else than you small world over here in Trouser Hills. Kind of limited perspective to planet Earth. Of course you have that God thing but it makes you even more miserable. Big Man has not been talking much to you lately...
- Shut up your big mouth or I shall kill you, fucking retard scientist. They kicked you out from the University of Fuckland. That was they best decision ever made!
- Might be. But they kicked you out long ago from the Kingdom of Heaven. Now you´re just roaming in the gutter in delirium and talking to walls. And of course they talk you back; they are your only friends.




- Tell me Clover, you still have those stupid fantasies about the jungle?
- They are not stupid. Of course I am going to jungle. Sometimes I feel that it is my only friend besides the Boss, capo di tutti capi. You see, I have a misson to fullfil over there.
- Yeah, smuggling dope...



- Preacher, what do ya think about climate change?
- Well, nothing to mention. Summer has been as shit as it usually is here in Finland. It has been raining too much. They can put that climate change up to their ass!
- Things could be worse. I saw from the SkyTV that there is flooding in England. All the fucking place is under the dirty water. Even Oxford where I visited in April.
- Couldn´t care less.



- Fucking shit. Cops are riding to Trouser Hill. I´m gonna beat it. They´ve been looking for me because of some false accusations made by the church for my money collection for the reastauration of the St. Peters in Rome.
- But you not catholic? You have collected money only for yourself to continue your boozing. You shall end up to jail or mental hospital.
- You shall end to the bottom of the sea. I can already see sharks tearing you apart. Or then you get lost in that jungle in Golden Triangle. Ants are eating all your flesh and the hill tribes are selling your skeleton to the British Museum. It proofs that God exits and extraterrestials have no chance at all on this planet. But now I must run. Be seeing you.
- Hopefully not. Give my best regards to God when you have next meeting in AA.

Kaunissaari Island in the southeastern Gulf of Finland

Tall Ships Races 2007 in Kotka, Finland

IKEA Inferno

Kaikkialla lojuu kasoittain kuolleita cd-levyjä. Vaikka niiden aika on jo tullut tiensä päähän iPodien vallattua scenen lähden ostamaan kunnon cd-hyllyjä Ikeasta 1200 muinaismuistolle, joilla on kohta yhtä vähän virkaa kuin Museovirastolla.

Luulin helvetin sijaitsevan Stockkan Hulluilla Päivillä, mutta se on muuttanut itseään moninkertaistaen Ikea nimisiin jättiläishalleihin. Ihmiset ryntäävät kuola naamasta purskuten keräämässä romua kärryihinsä. He tappelevat lampunnysistä kuin keskitysleirivangit leivänkannikasta.

Kulutusmaailman helvetin töydellisin tuote on svenskien kehittämä Ikea-konsepti! Se on nerokkaampi kuin Auszwitchin polttoouunien täyttöjärjestelmä. Ihmiset tekevät kaiken työn; keräävät kamat, jonottavat tuntikausia kassoille ja kun rojut saadaan lopulta jollain opilla luukkuun, he kokoavat niitä akkojensa kanssa iltakaudet kiroten maailmaa, joka on rokin ja Hollywoodin ohella muuttunut myös ja pelkästään Ikeaksi. I´m a consumer man/Ikea made me what I am!

Mutta hakatessani romuja kasaan joudun tunnustamaan tosiasiat; maailma järjestää nyt rakenteitaan kulutuksen suhteen tällä tavoin. Jos ottaisin siitä pulttia, olisin moralisti, kulutussosiologi tai muu vastaava paskahousu. Ja yllärinkin osaan jo ennakoida; kun kaapit on kasassa yksi ratkaiseva ruuvi puuttuu. Pojilla on Bangladeshissa tapahtunut pikkuinen inhimillinen virhe. Kukaan ei tosin tiedä mistä Ikean kama tulee. Systeemi on nerokkaasti hajautettu ympäri maailmaa; ruuvit Intiasta, puut Puolasta, pottumuusi ja lihapullat Ruotsista (mikä onkin ainoa Ikean mainitsemisen arvoinen tuote. Esimerkiksi Los Angelesin Hollywood Bulewardilla sijaitsevan L.Ron Hubbard Life Experiencen ruotsalainen opas sanoikin ainoan asian jota hän kotomaastaan kaipaa olevan pottumuusi lihapullilla, ja himon iskiessä hän hurauttaa Hollywood Freewayta Ikeaan.).

Kun kaapit on kasassa paljastuu, että olisi pitänyt ostaa yksi kaappi lisää. Parisataa kuollutta lattialla lojuvaa cd:tä eivät löydä sijaansa Ikeaksi itseään järjestävästä maailmasta. Niitä odottaa polttouunni erään toisen huippuunsa hiotun kulutussosiologisen järjestelmän mukaisesti.

Ikea on tehokkaammin ihmistä orjuuttava järjestelmä kuin keskitysleiri. Lisäksi ihmiset ovat valmiita maksamaan orjuuttamisestaan ja odottavat tilipäivää suu messingillä uusien verellä, hiellä ja kyynelillä koottavien hankkimiseksi.

Menen uupuneena makaamaan olohuoneen sohvalle. Avaan telkun. Joku filosofisakki pohtii totuuden käsitettä pääsemättä koskaan sinne saakka. Miten kukaan täysijärkinen ihminen voi tässä nopeassa Ikea-kulutuksen maailmassa hukata aikaansa moisten tyhjien nyppäämiseen? Jokainen täysijärkinen tietää, että Suomessa todellisuuskin on totta ja siihen on syytä totutella (vrt. englanti "truth" ja "reality" vs. "totuus"). Luulen että minulla olisi ollut hyvät saumat tehdä iso tili filosofina(kin) ellei Himasen sakki olisi patentoinut älykkyyden käsitettä omien ekstraterriaalisten päämääriensä ajamiseen.

Lähden juoksemaan kympin lenkin. Elimistö ei ole kunnolla toipunut viime viikon rälläämisestä Korfulla. Ei oikein kulje, vaikka vedän kaikki pelissä kuin Bubaneswharin ihmepoika. Tekee mieli kävellä välillä, mutta jos antaisin periksi olisin paskahousu raukka, joten painan helteessä loppuun asti lujaa. Kaltaisiani keski-ikäisiä ihmejuoksijoita keräilläänkin Vantaajoen varrelta ruumisvankkureihin sydärin pysäytettyä heidän walk of life´nsa for good. Päästyäni himaan olen tattis. Vihaan Ikeaa, totuutta ja juoksemista. Panen soimaan Poguesin parhaat, joka on maannut cd-kasassa avaamattomana neljä vuotta. Että tammöinen päivä tänään.

Typical Tourist Evening in Corfu

Corfu Story Short

Many places are built too full of hotels and restaurants. Corfu is not an exception.



Nowadays it is a totally different place than when I visited there in 1982. But I am different as well..




Still you can find beautiful landscapes and people from Corfu. And if you´re head is okei you can enjoy the place. In fact in this case you can enjoy all the places, even Helsinky.




Greek people are more quiet than the luigimacarones who lives on the other side of bay in Italy. That is one of the reason to go there. And of course food is excellent and ouzo (but don´t take to many; next morning you´re just feeling terrible...)



So many empty hotels and tavernas waiting for the tourists to come. Season lasts from July to September. During this short period you must make all the money. Rest of the year local people are just riding their motorbikes all over the Corfu Island. All the places are closed and waiting for the sun to come back.



I drank too much ouzo, too much everything. I swam and took sunbaths. I talked to local taverna people. They were sort of sad. That´s why I liked them. Island in the sun have always the dark side...



And when we reached back those beutiful balloons were still flying on the Helsinki summer sky. Nothing has changed and everyting has changed.