4/07/2009

Crazy Android Emails To America from Malaysia



Penang Island, 6.00 a.m:

Dolly darling,

good morning from Penang island in Malaysia. It seems that this time
more is not enough for me. Strait Times told us yesteraday: Europe
turned its back to Obama. So I know what's going on somewhere there
over the sea.

Only solution in the long run is to leave thosen arabs and jews to
survive at their own. America just can't win this war and Europe
knows that very well. We just letting America to destroy its money and
power. Then we take over with Russians to fight against Chinese
thread.

But I know that east can't win us because they can' t swim. We can
swim, especially you Americans, because we have more proteins in our
food and bigger brains because of that.

You Americans are silly for believing that your are the leaders of the
world. Rest of the world just lets you do to the dirty work and lose your
positions. Then we stirke back when you're on your knees.

This Malaysia is a muslim country. If you're selling dope they just hang
you. Newspapers are full of government propaganda day after day. But
don' t worry: they'll never learn to swim. We take care of them when
the time is right, don' t we?

Situation in America looks bad. You're printing money and last month
600.000 Americans lost their jobs. But you're now on the road to
recovery, as CNN in marketing its silly shows. I hope that the road is
not too long.

Take care, and let Obama try, something must be done in anyway, but
nobody knowes exactly what.

8 HOURS LATELY

hi once again Dolly,

i was little on drugs this morning when i wrote my answer to your
questions. of course it's question of swimming, not swinning (whatever
it is, but it rhymes good, am i creating a language of my own?). of
course we are not eating our feet but food et cetera. thank god that
the secret police of malaysia didn't catch me. i was driving by taxi
all day to get them from my back. now i am somewhere in the jungle.
better get out of this fucking islam big borther country before it's
too late.

i am also getting paranoid about chinese and indian people. they just
move too fast, just can't follow them and they're too many, have not
time to count them all. maybe i have been here in this part of the
world too long. spring is getting warmer in europe, better start
slowly to go back home. this place is after all nothing, big nothing.they're just different, too tired to try to understand. everything over here means nothing to me.

in the future i am not easily leaving the west. america is good,
europe too, maybe japan as well. but these chinks and indian indians
are now on their own what comes to me...

i promise not to take any more drugs, they're slowly killing me, can't
laugh no more to these alqueda people here. if i take more they are
hanging me first and only after that they shall kick me out from this
country. everybody knows this nowhere.

bye bye Dolly birdie,
recession goes over sooner than they believe. because that are all the
time wrong, why not this time? you can count on this.

Do ya realize that we are floating in space and happiness makes you cry? Do you realize that some day everyone must die?

4/04/2009

Run Helsinki Sexy Rabbitt Run

Helsingin Uutisten mukaan pääkaupunkia riivaavaan kaniongelmaan haetaan ratkaisua ihmisten seksitaudeista. Seksitautien istuttaminen kaneihin aloitetaan huhtikuun viimeisellä viikolla.

"Käytämme salakavalasti hyväksi sitä, mistä kanit eniten pitävät. Niiden hillitön paritteluvimma saadaan näin aseeksi niitä itseään vastaan. Saavat vihulaiset tavallaan maistaa omaa lääkettään", Helsingin luontohallintaviraston epidemiologi Aimo Kuramo kuvailee hanketta.

Tautien levittämiseen tarvittavia tautikantoja eristetään niistä helsinkiläisistä, joilla on tarkoitukseen sopiva seksitauti. Ainakin tippuri ja klamydia ovat olleet suurennuslasin alla.

Ero on siinä, että ihmiseltä peräisin oleva tippuri- tai klamydiabakteeri aiheuttaa kaneille todella ärhäköitä tulehduksia. "Lopulta kaniurokselta niin sanotusti "vehkeet tippuvat"", Kuramo innostuu.